Title: Desertion (Knights Rebels MC #3)Author: River SavageRelease Date: July 14th, 2015Add to your TBR:
“Jesse, it’s me, Bell,” she rushes out before I can take it any further.
“Fuck.” I release my grip on her arm and sit up, forcing myself back to the here and now.
“Did I hurt you?” I reach for her searching for any sign of a mark left by me.
“It’s fine. You barely touched me.” She holds her arm out letting me inspect it. I check it over one more time before releasing her and relaxing.
“You wanna talk about it?” I study her face, eyes calm, soft mouth. She’s not freaking out.
“Just some shit that visits my dreams sometimes, nothing that needs to touch you,” I reply, shocked I’m not retreating.
“I don’t mind, Jesse,” she pushes, and I almost cave. Almost.
“The last thing I want to do is talk about this shit, Bell.” She doesn’t argue or press, and I’m grateful for it. I don’t think I’d be able to keep my cool if she did.
“Come back to sleep.” She lies back down and I follow her. She doesn’t ask me any more questions, or make me feel like I need to tell her everything.
“That ever happens again, don’t wake me,” I warn. A menacing thought strikes through me picturing what could have happened if I didn’t wake in time. She’s lucky I didn’t hurt her, like the last time a woman touched me while I had a nightmare.
“You don’t always have to be so brave, Jesse.” Her hand moves to my dog tags. I don’t stop her. I’m starting to like the feeling of her hands touching them.
“Never tried to be, Bell. But talking doesn’t help me. Never has.” I think back to the time when I did try and it forced me out of control. Talking about those triggers only amplified my insecurities. When death sits afar, mocking you in the dangerous confines of your surroundings, it fucks with your head; nothing was going to change it.
Besides, my issues weren’t what I had done. They were what I had survived. My conscience wasn’t clear and my honor wasn’t clean.
“Promise me you won’t touch me.” I keep my tone even, controlled.
“I promise.” I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Maybe one day I will let someone in. Let her in.
Today isn’t that day.
But today, I didn’t push her away.
That has to count for something.
I received an arc of this book for an honest review. How do I review something so deep and beautifully written. I feel like with the subject matter of this book that everyone who reads it will come away with something different from it. Maybe a better understanding of what PTSD is or maybe the courage to seek help because they realize that they’ve been suffering. I really respect River for addressing some very delicate topics in many of her books. She does it with such grace and knowledge. You really feel like you are experiencing all the highs and lows with these characters.
I’ve felt that way with every book that I’ve read by her. When I first picked up Incandescent on a whim from the kindle store I was looking for a quick read with a HOT, dirty talking ALPHA. Which don’t get me wrong I completely got, but I got so much more than that, much more. I got a connection to every character in that one book alone. Since than I’ve been an avid fan of River’s and always on the look out for when I’m gonna get to see all my favorite characters again. From book one I’ve wanted to know Jesse’s story to know what made him tic. River did such a good job at making him seem like the happy, go lucky player, that I just knew there was more. Because she creates depth in her characters you see it in every single one. I had a feeling that this book would really make me feel some strong emotions and I was right. Right off the bat she starts it off with a flashback that gives insight into Jesse and some of his demons. This set the tone for me and helped me to connect and get invested in Jesse, I already was from previous books but even more so in this book. I liked how River stayed true to her characters that what she introduced in book one continued in all her books. Yes we still see the Jesse we met before Mr. Smartmouth, easy go lucky player, who loves to bust his brothers balls. Those moments made me smile and it helped when she introduced the deeper darker side to Jesse, it gave me that aha moment. That moment of ok I see why the front now.
As all of this is being unveiled we meet Nurse Bell, I should say we get reintroduced to Nurse Bell. I’m glad to say that here again we meet a character that we got glimpses of in previous books. Someone who seems like a nice, genuine, caring person. And she was and so much more, we find out that Jesse isn’t the only one fighting demons and not moving forward in their life. Through this is where their connection happens, yes it starts with Jesse being his usual self and trying to get into her pants. But even he realizes right away that it’s different even if he’s a stubborn jerk about it. He fully meets his match in Bell…. Jesse is 100% a dirty talking, gets what he wants alpha male but one with a deep loving heart. All this is laid out for us really well so when he messes up, which he does monumentally. It doesn’t turn you off from him, it makes you say “ugh get out of your head you douche”!!! And than root for him to conquer his demons.
As for Bell, River Savage writes amazing, strong, beautiful, kicka*@ female leads. Bell has demons of her own and walls built up, as well as trying to make everyone happy. In some books that may make the female mc seem like a pushover or spineless but not how this author writes her. Bell’s strength is in her understanding, her kindness and compassion, her strength to fight with everything she has for those she loves. This puts her up there in being able to hang with Kadence and Holly in my opinion two of the strongest female main characters I’ve ever read. Even though this book has a deep underlying subject matter and could have been a real heavy read. River was able to have lighter much needed moments she showed us that the characters still had fun and we’re living their lives to the fullest. We get to hand out with Kadence, Holly and Kelly and have some girl time as they get to know Bell. As well as the chance to meet some new friends in Lissy, Kate and Manda. Let’s not forget about the guys they’re all still the strong, take no bs alpha males we’ve grown to know and love. The deep connections and bonds showcased in Incandescent, Affliction and Reclaimed carried through into Desertion. It’s all so tied together, which shows in the fact that there was so overlap in time with what was going on in Reclaimed here in Desertion but just seen from a different POV. Made it all more cohesive. I can honestly say that this book is gonna stay with me for some time. I’m looking forward to read Beau’s story but more importantly Paige’s story. I’m curious as to how this author will broach the topic that is revealed in Desertion. I know that sounds cryptic but I try really hard to give no spoilers and even though maybe it’s not. I’m just not willing to say :). Well now I’m off to bed to dream about Jackson and Jay and ponder what River’s new series Men of Swat will be about.
ULTIMATE KNIGHTS REBELS & #JESSIEJUNKIE FAN PACK
including the following:Signed
Paperback set of the Knights Rebels series,#JessieJunkie Dog Tag,#KnightsRebels Tumbler,#JessieJunkie Tee (sized to order),Notebook,Swag